Awakening to a Shift

“One cannot discover new oceans

Until one has the courage

To lose sight of the shore”

Patrick Walker

It is our human nature, to desire, not only to live and reproduce, but also to aspire to grow, learn and discover – the wish to discern the mysteries of this earth and beyond, have always been a part of our evolution. Throughout the journey of our lives, there are moments that come that inevitably make us turn our heads up to the sky and ask. ‘Why am I here?’ We watch the sunrise and the sunset, and then wonder; ‘What does it know, that I don’t know?’ While I run all day long, feel nervous and at times out of place, the sun just sits there, seemingly, calm, serene, watching. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, days to months and months to years. At times we feel positive and happy, at others, sad and gloomy and yet whatever mood we may be feeling, the sun just keeps doing its thing. It never shows any emotion towards us or anything. Yet, it must love us, for it always comes back the next day, to give us its light, warmth and life.

As human beings, we have always been fascinated with the mysteries of the universe. Our curiosity and thirst, as well as our passion and determination, have brought us to unveil some of these abyssal mysteries that surrounds our existence. It has not been an easy task to undertake. Many of these mysteries were difficult to decode and understand and those who tried condemned by our very leaders. It was not too far back in time when people like you and I, (the searchers) were imprisoned and condemned to die merely for trying to understand, and this done to us and justified on our ardent betrayal of God. Was not even Christ condemned and crucified for preaching truth?

Unveiling such mysteries, has brought a solid contribution to our human evolution. However, some of these same mysteries we are trying to discern will forever remain within the body of the Universe, unknown. Perhaps this is a good thing, for I am not quite convinced that we are ready to comprehend all such mysteries. We are bodies of experience, all we do everyday of our lives is experiment. It is, without a doubt a good thing, but it can also be catastrophic at times. A knife is a much needed tool in our kitchen, but a dangerous thing in the hands of a child – ‘yet, we are that child’. It is my strong belief that everything comes to us when we are ready. Thus, we must get ready. We move through life playing games, creating and destroying; raising families and breaking them. We learn and then we teach, we love and we hate, we save and we kill, ultimately – we experiment. Our soul theoretically knows everything, however, to experiment it needs to take physical form. We, in the physical form, are a fascinating species, strange creatures who feed in different forms. We nourish to sustain not only our physical but our emotions as well. Have you not noticed how we easily feed off other people’s misfortune and misery? We feast on tidbits about people and circumstances, we gourmet on other people’s drama, adding second helpings of enhancement to the drama, to further our own enjoyment. Although most of us do not intend to travel the road of gossip and disagreements, we nevertheless, engage in these very activities which ultimately lead us to suffering. We seem to be drawn to these negative experiences. Why do we so easily let ourselves get sucked into this vortex? Do we not have a choice?  Can we not choose to travel a compassionate and helping road? Perhaps we do and can, but that road may be obscured and the mystery of seeing it clearly, yet to us unveiled.

We would be foolish to think that we are certain of anything. History has often turned to legend and legend to myth. Too many beliefs, customs and ways of life exist in our planet for us to clearly choose the right one. Many religious leaders of our time claimed to worship the true God, hurting, requesting and demanding we subscribe to their word. Without a doubt, religions have contributed to our evolution, but also like that same simplistic kitchen knife, have had the power to cut in both positive and negative ways. It is this very division that has most contributed to our evolution. Dozens of religions and thousands of myths seem to have been such a solid part of our life journey. My own studies of mythology, revealed these ideologies to be true fact in every culture. As they all claim to have found the real God, who they define as a God of love. These same followers are also ready and willing to kill or sacrifice in His name. Is this really necessary? Would a God of love and peace require for such acts? The Bible and other sacred scriptures seem to think so. There are verses in our Bible that have me believe that it is a book of war, ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’. If God is the creator of all, why would He choose and favor a certain group over another? It is said that He freed his people from Egypt, His people? Who were the other people then? Today, several groups still believe they are the chosen people of God. In thinking this way, we are functioning on exclusion not inclusion. I, however, refuse to believe or accept that a God of love would have us kill, exclude, torture and destroy our fellow man.

Like so many others, I too, have searched for answers and reasons for my own existence on this planet. I too, have asked why I suffer. What reason is there for suffering? Life for the most part, is a battle and rarely a picnic. We seem to struggle almost from the onset. We seem to continually fight our way through it. It seems all we do is strive to stay ahead throughout the four seasons of our years here on earth, (child, teen, adult, elder) Throughout the first two seasons (child, teen), we fight to gain, in the latter two (adult, elder) we fight to protect what we’ve acquired. When I was in high school, I came across an old man who, without my asking, said to me: “Life is a rose my son. Beautiful on top, but before you reach it, there are a lot of thorns along its stem that can make your journey a challenging one. The mistake many of us make is to quit the journey after the first sting. Remember this young one. You must be persistent and willing to get to the summit. Only then, you will experience joy and freedom.” I don’t know where he had learned this. However, today when I think about his words, I can see that it was his simple way of telling me not to despair or to give up. I don’t know why this man felt he had to impart this wisdom onto me on a day when I was stressed about the fact that I didn’t have sufficient money to pay for repairs that my bike needed. What freedom did I have to ride and enjoy my bike if I didn’t have the money on hand to pay the bike repair shop?

Too many of us give up and surrender to the struggle of everyday life, tired of the stings we’ve incessantly received. Few keep moving forward, while others, as the man so eloquently put it, prefer to take permanent position in between those thorns. We forget about the blossom at the summit waiting for us to grasp it, which will remain there whether or not we choose to reach for it. You may be that person who has experienced so many obstacles and struggles that has lead you to that point of not wishing to move forward. If indeed this is you, do not despair for this too has been part of my own life process. I too have struggled in the form of undertaking projects that led to nothing because of my own inability to move onward, to plow through toil and obstacles. Yet, I have no regrets about anything I have undertaken for it has served as experience. Still, these were very confusing times for me when I found no joy in anything I did or undertook. During these difficult moments, I often wondered about who I was.  All I knew was that I was not happy. It wasn’t until December 1995 that I got an answer and only upon meeting, a now great friend, that my life took a turning point.

My friend called himself Rubert, telling me his true name apparently would be too difficult for me, as a mere mortal, to pronounce. My friend has no physical form. You might think at this point that where I turned to was towards insanity, however, let me assure you that I am in no way insane. Rubert is real, and he has proven his realness to me time and time again. You may choose to look upon Rubert as my Guardian Angel.  However, I choose know him, as my Spirit Guide. We all have assistance on this earth. I believe you too, at times, have felt this to be true. Aren’t there examples in your own life of times when things turn out right when you thought they wouldn’t? Simple examples, I’m sure abound as in money that came to you at the right time from an unexpected source? Have you not ever felt propelled to go towards something that turned out was definitely meant for you? Or gotten the sense that you must move away from something that turned out later would have harmed you?

I am he who seeks reasons and explanations. If you too are like me and need and believe that reasons exist then, perhaps, you too have experienced your very own Guardian Angel. Rubert helped me understand that there is more to life than meets the eye. Rubert has given me answers I have long sought to possess. Through his presence in my life, I have learned that we are all Souls searching for completion, and that love is the only means of achieving that completion we seek. He opened my eyes in ways I did not know were possible. He taught me to see through the veils of ignorance, and feel life the way it should be felt. He has taught me this through my own life situations. Recently, I had a situation with someone whom I truly care about. In my way of viewing, she had no right to speak to me the way she did, so I replied in the same manner. Rubert helped me understand, that one can never put out a fire with fire, and invited me to try a new way of dealing with the situation. I e-mailed her an apology for the way I had reacted towards her words. Rubert was right, the next day I received a response in the form of her own apology for her behavior towards me. It worked like a charm, and we are friendly and respectful again. This argument could have easily escalated to a series of violent dialogues and behavior but we chose to be at peace instead. In that particular situation Rubert taught me that I can create a different outcome, that by reacting negatively I was pushing away a relationship. Owning and taking responsibility for my own negative reaction invited peace and provided a lesson learned.

So much goes on right in front of our eyes, yet, we miss a great part of it. Even the shirt you are wearing on your back is not felt as fabric on your skin unless someone points it out to you. You only become aware of it because I’m focusing your attention to it. Our lives are full of distractions. So many things demand our attention that we often lose focus. We become so overwhelmed with life. It seems that the more we work towards simplifying our life, the more we seem to complicate it. Now through Rubert’s assistance, I have made myself focus on acquiring wisdom and not just information.

Rubert has introduced me to a wide variety of philosophies and beliefs. No matter how different they may seem, they all share one common truth which is that every act has a consequence that will lead us to joys or sorrows. Failure to recognize this as a truth leads to undesired paths. We live in a world of total confusion. We want peace, yet, build sophisticated bombs. We want to live healthy lives, yet, produce more and more unhealthy foods. Speed on roads kill, yet, faster cars are built. We strive for solid family values, yet, divorces are rampant. This is a confusing world.

I had no goal when I began to write this book other than to just write it. My family and I went through turbulent times and I believe my life can serve as an example of lessons common to all. I began this manuscript in February 2000. By recording my own life on paper, it became ever so much more apparent that my own experiences were no more different than anyone else’s. Although we may have chosen different paths and traveled different roads, we all go through the same social emotional experiences. However different our challenges may have been, they will have more or less the same impact on our conscious and sub-conscious mind. I needed to know where all these different roads with similar experiences led. The ultimate question I needed answered was – what and where is all of this taking us. A huge question indeed, but one that I believe deserves to be answered. This book has taken me to that answer. Rubert has been a big part of this project, focusing my energy to committing and completing this important task of getting it all on paper for you to read and too, understand that there is a reason for it all.

The great Spanish philosopher, José Ortega y Gasset, wrote that human beings are the only creatures on this planet that are born into a natural state of disorientation with their own world. That is to say that while all other creatures are guided by an instinct, human beings are given the Godlike power to create their own life. This is exactly what we do everyday of our lives, we create our experiences. Daily we put into place actions and ideas that determine the shape and substance of our tomorrows. For some, those ideas and actions lead to success and happiness, for others, to repeated frustrations.

Unlike other animals, man is unable to survive on his own at birth. However, twenty years later, man is able to destroy all other creatures on his own. If we have entered this earth with the Godlike power to create, it is obvious we also have the same Godlike power to destroy.

Creation is what we are all about. We cannot exist without creating. We create out of our breath, through inhaling and exhaling, we exchange particles of energy with the universe. Through the vibration of our words and motion of our body, we create situations and experiences. This power of creation is ours to keep, and the ultimate power to create has to come through free will. Free will is one of the many gifts we have inherited from the body of God. We need freedom to create and evolve. We need freedom to be or not to be and to do or not to do. Once we have accepted this fact as reality, many of our creations can be altered and subsequently, changed according to our desires.

I believe that God is not a God of laws as it is implied in the Bible and as in other sacred scriptures. Through my conversations with Rubert, I came to realize that God’s desire is for us to live in free will. However, for us to attain the highest level of responsibility and unconditional love, a rule, reference or law had to emerge. God is indisputably a God of love.  Not only do I feel it and know it now, but Rubert has confirmed it. This law had to emerge from love. Throughout this book I chose to call this ‘law’, but please, feel free to call it whatever you like. This law will be referred to as ‘The Law of the Mirror’, the one I call perfect law! ‘Everything we do reflect back at us’. By exploring ‘The Law of the Mirror’, you will understand that everything you do, has an equal and opposite reaction. ‘We reap what we sow’ you will learn that every effect is the result of a cause. To change the effect we need to change the cause, to change the cause, we need to be in awareness. Everyday of our lives, whether we like it or not, we function through this law, it is the Law of Balance. Others prefer to call it; ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’. Even the planet Earth functions according to this law. Think of the rain and the wind, go a little further and think also of the Sun and the Moon. They are a direct link for life and growth in this planet. As you read further into this book, you will understand why this law becomes the explanation for the word ‘fair and unfair’. According to Rubert, nothing but absolutely nothing will be left incomplete in the universe and sooner or later every experience will be completed.

We are constantly projecting our actions forward into our life path. Our life path becomes the destiny in which we travel. Subsequently, the consequences of our actions cannot be avoided and will always be there awaiting us. We create the guilt as well as the victim. We create the doubt as well as the fear. Ultimately, these are the four gods that have been ruling our minds for thousands of eons. We bow in front of god fear, god doubt, god guilt and god victim, yet, the very first commandment of our Bible states… ‘Thou shall not bow to other gods in My presence!’

The world as we know it today, is no accident, it is simply the fruit of all our creations. Unfortunately, most of our creations have risen from these four gods. They also, don’t rule alone. In addition three lords have joined them; lord of form, lord of speech and lord of mind. The lord of form embraces the material aspect of life and makes us succumb to the belief that it will provide us the comfort and satisfaction we seek. The lord of speech embraces our ego, how well we may talk our way in or out of situations we have created. Finally, the lord of mind, the one who gives us justification for what we chose to believe as truths. The mind is an image-maker it can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. This is the beginning of unraveling the mystery of why our lives play out the way they do.

If we don’t like what we live, then, all we need to do is change our actions (creations). In order to do so, we must first understand and accept that in fact, we are all responsible for everything that exists.

“How can I be responsible for the world as it is today, if at my birth it was already in decay?”

Bless be, those who ask questions, for every question will be answered. If a problem or situation has been placed in front of you, it is because you are linked with it. It wasn’t until I discovered and understood the reincarnation cycle that I came to accept this fact. For this, I have to deeply give my thanks to Rubert, who helped me not only see the light, but also, helped me understand that I am more than the body I possess. Ignoring this very valuable teaching, according to Rubert, is being and living in darkness limiting our potential for growth. ‘The word is Christ’ so we’ve been told. The truth is, Christ is Light, and Light is what gets rid of darkness. Jesus Christ is an entity that will be discussed in this book. Rubert has helped me unravel the identity of this ‘wonderful philosopher and healer’, one who has been misunderstood and one whose words have been tampered with through time. Ask yourself ‘how can a Preacher of inclusion create so much exclusion.’ Reach out for the Christ that is within you, and you shall find answers to your deepest questions.

Dear Reader, in order to express my visions I have chosen to use my life as an example. I strongly believe that all our lives are parallel. You will undoubtedly find your own experiences in my life as I am sure I would find my own in yours. We are particles of the body of God. Admiring each other instead of judging one another is the only path to enhancing our evolution towards the Creator.

I now, accept and understand that every person with whom I have had contact in my life, whether it be family, friend or foe, was there for a reason. Each person in my life served a purpose, even those I’ve labeled bad. Through my experiences you will come to understand as I have, that we were created to take responsibility, including the responsibility of forgiving those whom hurt us. To forgive them, we need to forgive ourselves first and we can do so by understanding that we are forever evolving and forever creating our very experiences. Doing this, will bring us into a higher level of consciousness and to the inner peace we all seek. Once we attain this level, we realize that there is nothing to forgive, everything is what it is at the time that it is being, serving a purpose. Ultimately, challenging situations will disappear and all our experiences will become fundamentally LOVE.

Antonio Santos

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